I have been writing this post in my head for months now.  After a few sweet friends asked when I was going to give an update in this space, I decided now is the time to actually publish my thoughts here.

I am just under 4 months out from my sleeve gastrectomy.  I have lost 37 pounds since surgery and 68 pounds total.  I am, to say the least, very thankful for this tool in my life. Here is some writings from my journey early on:

The first few weeks and months post-op have been a series of good and bad days, strung along much like a roller coaster! I find myself very emotional. Mood swings in this first month just following surgery.  After the newness and excitement of my new stomach has gone, what I am left with was a liquid diet and a stubborn scale.  The doctors and nurses, as well as the seasoned folks in my bariatric support group, say do not weigh yourself.  Especially don’t weigh yourself often.

Friends, you might know that I am a bit stubborn.  I weigh myself. I am a recovering diet lifer and find it hard not to weigh frequently to check progress.  Not surprisingly, I find myself frustrated and weepy when the scale won’t move for days that drag into weeks. I am emotional around meal times. I love to feed people, nourishing them both physically and spiritually, around my table.  Immediately following my surgery, I could not prepare or participate in these meals.  Often the sight of certain foods or the smell of certain foods trigger nausea for me.  Along with the physical discomfort of being around the foods, there is emotional distance too.  I am learning to listen to my new body and there’s a whole new set of indicators to pay attention to. Getting used to paying attention to my body’s signals in the company of 5 little insatiable appetites and a meat and potatoes man is crazy hard!  This has been no small feat!

I am tracking my intake in an Excel file that my darlin’ nerdy husband created for me.  It has places for my fluid ounces intake, my grams of protein, vital signs, a place to check off all of the different vitamins and medicines needed post-operatively, minutes/type of exercise and a space to record any new symptoms or sensations. I keep this log religiously, recording each ounce as a hash mark and each bit of protein consumed! I monitor my blood pressure fairly closely because while I was hypertensive prior to surgery, my blood pressure has been elevated since surgery.  I highly recommend a log to visually remind you to do all the things necessary for a good recovery.

All of the preparation for the surgery coming from the medical group and the support group said that the majority of progress in those first weeks came in the form of inches.  I began seeing that my clothes were a little baggy.  That was very encouraging. Soon enough the pounds also starting melting off.

Generally, I feel pretty good most of the time. I am definitely so thankful I had this surgery!  I am grateful for my “sleeve!”

It’s been a little while since I posted my original post-op update. As it turns out, building a relationship with my body and with food is a full-time gig!  I am 7 weeks out from my sleeve gastrectomy and doing pretty well.

This new lifestyle definitely has a learning curve. I am learning what my new stomach can tolerate in the way of food, what items, what textures, and what spices are going to sit ok. I basically am trying everything.  Now that I am in this stage post-op, I am doing primarily a soft food, regular diet. My goals are to get about 64 ounces of fluid and 80-90 grams of protein a day.

If you’re thinking, “that’s a lot,” you’re not alone.  It is really difficult for me to get that much liquid in because I’m sipping no more than 4 ounces at a time.  I cannot gulp liquids and still cannot tolerate straight up water yet.  I am doing Gatorade G2, Crystal Light and green tea.  I keep trying water, and there will be a time when I can drink it again.

In terms of protein, I’m still learning what are protein rich sources that don’t take up a ton of room!  I am back to drinking ready-made protein shakes.  I will try making them every now and then, but the ready-made ones are so handy on the go! They pack a pretty good punch with 30 grams of protein each!  I also use a great protein powder.  The one I’m using has 21 grams/scoop, but good Lord, the scoop is huge. When I first started trying to mix into soups and stews, I put too much.  I am learning as I go.

So much of this stage is trial and error.  So far, I know that I can eat chicken, turkey and some lean pork.  As long as these are cooked in a way that they are soft, I can usually manage it. I have had lots of soups and added broth to lots of different things!  Steamed, cooked or roasted veggies are going pretty well.  Every now and then I will run into something that is uncomfortable for a little while after I eat.

The hardest part of this part of journey has not actually been the food, though.  What an emotional ride!  In the very beginning after surgery, I was so hopeful and excited!  I was happy to do an all liquid diet just post-op because that meant I was healing. The nuance of this lasted a few short days. I drank my liquids from a tiny medicine cup, 1-2 ounces at a time.  I wasn’t hungry those first few weeks, but I noticed I still craved foods.

We were very fortunate that friends and family wanted to care for my family by bringing meals.  What a gift to all of us, including me!  I didn’t have to prepare meals for my husband and kids while I was recovering and not eating.  I was so thankful for these meals, but a lingering feeling bothered me.

At first, I could not pinpoint what the emotion was. I was not hungry.  What I discovered though, was that I was sad that I could not “receive” all of the nurturing from our people. I decided to shift my perspective and that made all the difference.

I couldn’t wait to try new-to-me foods again. Slowly, but surely.  That’s my motto!